


what a pain

by Onnoff



Series: AU-gust 2020 [12]
Category: Magic Kaito
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crime, M/M, Mentioned Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, POV Hakuba Saguru, heiji mentioned, implied crushes, implied saguhei, implied sagushin, it's not unrequited but nothing happens in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25850386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onnoff/pseuds/Onnoff
Summary: Day 12: Crime auSaguru just wanted this day to end. And to go to sleep. He really could do with some sleep right now.
Relationships: Hakuba Saguru/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Series: AU-gust 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860001
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41
Collections: AUgust 2020





	what a pain

**Author's Note:**

> finally getting to use this au after forgetting about it for like a year
> 
> This fic is unbeta'd.

Saguru watched the scene before him as his head throb to the rhythm of his own heartbeat and wondered how he got himself into this situation. 

Hattori-kun had managed to find a stick somewhere and was practicing his kendo on the thugs. It was somewhat fascinating to watch how his kendo skills applied in real-life situations. Meanwhile, Kudo-kun was either kicking the thugs or kicking things at the thugs. The amount of things that he managed to turn into a projectile weapon that he used to launch at the thugs would be terrifying, if Saguru was interested in going against him. Which he would never be.

Kaito was bouncing around all over the place, dodging bullets, shooting back with his own ammunition. It made him think back to the days when Kaito was still KID, dodging officers left and right as they tried to throw themselves at him. And in some unfortunate cases, actual bullets from the people who murdered the first KID, kind of like what Kaito was doing now.

Saguru shook his head before he remembered that he had a concussion and had to tighten his throat and ignore the fact that he has a physical body in this plane of existence as he felt vomit crawling up towards his mouth from inside him. His throat burned slightly, and he felt like he could taste the vomit from within his throat. 

Ugh, he hates concussions.

_“Stop playing coy and tell us the boss’s identity!_

One of the thugs had shouted at him in between at the moments where they attempted to turn him into one big, giant, human-shaped bruise.

Even now, Saguru had no idea what the thug was talking about, since he was pretty sure they weren’t asking him for the identity of his dad. Who was technically his boss if you really think about it.

Well, at least he hoped that wasn’t what they were asking for. Or he’d be greatly disappointed in himself for letting himself get captured by such an idiotic group of people.

Sometime between getting the shit beaten out of him and now, Kaito had dropped down from somewhere and snuck up behind him while the thugs were preoccupied with something else. Not for long though. Saguru wasn’t sure how things went from Kaito touching his hand gently, reassuring him that he’ll get out of here somehow, eventually, to Kaito bouncing off the walls to dodge bullets.

Somewhere in between all that though, while Kaito was running laps around the thugs, the entrance burst open. 

Sometime between then and now, Hattori-kun and Kudo-kun had noticed Kaito’s antics and shouted “KID?!” 

Which Saguru remembered very clearly due to the fact that it made his headache even worse at the time. 

Saguru thought to himself quietly and very very secretively that Kaito was right to worry about his co-workers finding out about his criminal past, and thus validating his reason to avoid meeting them despite how many times Saguru had tried to get all his favorite people into one place.

Ugh. 

He wanted to go to sleep and he couldn’t even do that because he wasn’t supposed to. 

The fight was taking so long too. Couldn’t someone just come over and at least free his hands already?

Honestly, he was getting tired of being kidnapped. He wasn’t sure what about him made people kidnap him so often, but he’d like this to stop happening. Please?

He felt like someone shouted his name. Did they? Maybe it already happened but he forgot.

Saguru was tired of being the damsel. He was tired of being in distress (so tired that he no longer feels distressed). He doesn’t need a big strong man to save him because he’d rather the big strong man be there to stop this kind of shit from ever happening to him. Please?

He sighed. 

Then again, if he wanted a big strong man, he’d have to be a homewrecker and steal Kyogoku-san from Sonoko. And he couldn’t do that. They were just so adorable together.

Maybe a big strong man wasn’t the answer. Big strong woman? Ran-san was still single, right? She wouldn’t let this happen to Saguru. She’d be able to protect him.

  
  


He wondered how Kaito managed to find him so quickly... It wasn’t like the current time was any later than the usual time that Saguru leaves from work. Kudo-kun and Hattori-kun probably found him because they stayed late to investigate the increased tension between the gangs in Tokyo.

  
  


His head hurt. His arms hurt. His legs hurt. His torso hurt. Everything hurt. 

He probably shouldn’t be wanting the sweet release of death, but right now he felt like he was just one big hurt and he wanted it to stop. Saguru sighed. Why was it so hard to be alive?

  
  
  


Still, that didn’t explain how Kaito found him so quickly. Unless... 

  
  
  


Saguru blinked and took a look around at what he could see in front of him. 

All the thugs were down and tied up in some way or another. Some unconscious, some seemed to be groaning in pain. 

Oh. They’re done. About goddamn time.

He could feel his arm loosen from their previously tied up position. He could see Kudo-kun and Hattori-kun standing in front of him, looking him up and down with worried expressions. 

“Kaito...”

“Yeah? Are you okay? Can you walk?” Kaito said, sounding worried. 

“Kaito.”

“Shit, you’re probably concussed right?” Kaito continued. Hm, it seemed that he was ignoring Saguru’s attempt to talk to him

“Kaito.”

“Saguru?” Kaito paused in untying him. Not that it mattered, the ties were loose enough that Saguru could slip his hands free. Kaito leaned forward and turned to look at him. He turned his face to look back at his stupid dumbass of a boyfriend.

“Kaito, I’m going to kick the ever-loving shit out of you as soon as I’m fully recovered,” Saguru said.

“...”

“I should break up with you for keeping the fact that you’re a fucking mob boss from me,” Saguru continued.

“Please don’t.”

“I’m going to punch you.”

“Okay, I deserve that.”

“Good. I’m going to pass out now.”

With that, he closed his eyes. Hoping to pass the fuck out so he doesn’t have to think about his boyfriend’s idiocy while concussed.

“Saguru?! Wait! Saguru!”

**Author's Note:**

> There's more to this au. but i also haven't finished world building or planning it. it's also more silly than serious. but uhhh, there's a lot so I'm prob not gonna write more of this any time soon. too much to plan
> 
> ty for reading, hope u liked it!


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